It’s Vegas!
I took my two friends to the Cosmo for three nights under my rewards for a free room so we only had to pay airfare. A third friend met us on the Saturday; she and I spent an extra night together and left together on Monday while these two left on Sunday. It was an interesting trip, these two are different and managing their emotions (or I guess, mine) was difficult at points. One of them wants to be constantly moving, doing things, seeing things, going places but on a strict and limited budget. The other spent their time non-stop talking and drinking (leading to crying) and eventually it caught up with her and she threw up out the front door of the taxi on Las Vegas Boulevard in front of the Wynn on our way home from the Magic Mike show.
The Magic Mike show was fun! It was more tame than I assumed it would be but a good time. My drunk friend, got really drunk, received a lap dance, told the dancer she’s getting divorced, tried to grab $100 dollar bill from her purse like he was a real stripper (we had to stop her and snatch her bag away) and she ordered a second pitcher with about 30 minutes left in the show. I looked at my third friend like why did you order another pitcher?? and she looked back at me like don’t look at me, it wasn’t me! It was wild. Our busy bee friend didn’t drink anything (she doesn’t drink tequila and it was a tequila based drink) and she also didn’t want to spend money on another drink. The show is entertaining and I would see it again. So many bachelorette parties were there, and that’s really the focus of the show as the dancers focus on them which is smart marketing. They have every kind of stereotype fantasy man available on the cast. It was a good time. When my friend pulled over on the way home to throw up, these two adorable teenagers stopped an offered us their McDonalds; we took their napkins. They were so sweet. We made it back to the room, took an elevator photo of my friend drunk, and dropped her on the bed on her side with the garbage can and some water. I turned around and my other two friends were gone, they left me. My friend was sobbing her drunk sobs, and blurted out how she married the wrong man so I knew she was okay and I left her to sleep. I took her boyfriend’s phone number and texted him that she would not be facetiming with him tonight and found my friends at the elevator doors. My budget friendly friend asked if we could bring her back with us to Vegas on her own (no!) but she’s another type of problem. Friday, we spent the day at the pool with a cabana which was relaxing. My drunk friend ordered lots of drinks (she could do this but she doesn’t drink water in between – rookie move) and I read and tanned and we chatted and it was a great day. We walked over to Eataly to check it out after the pool and came back for some fried chicken from Hattie B’s to eat in the room on the deck while watching the Bellagio fountain. My budget friend made a comment while getting the chicken about how putting it on the room bill must benefit me and so I can bring them back. This really irritated me (it was a long two days where she mentioned earlier eating one donut so shouldn’t have to pay to share) like your $16 chicken sandwich is not why I get my free room offers. I’ve been travelling here for 20 years and it’s taken me so long to get this status and keep it, something they truly don’t understand. Also, they never paid me for that chicken. And I paid for several other items (taxi, drinks, coffees, snacks) that I never received any money for. Tax and tips – all me. My therapist asked if I felt taken advantage of. I said no, but lingering on it, kind of. Maybe not taken advantage of because that means they had intent, I feel more under-appreciated. My third friend understands the assignment because she frequently travels to Vegas and other places and we had a peaceful last day together. We went shopping and I found a few potential items for future purchase.

How adorable is this little robot charm!? I want to buy it, they said it’s available at the Vancouver Prada so I need to message my rep. I also found cute LV pink pillow slides but when I got home I got to purchase my gorgeous Jackie bag from Gucci and I saw a blush pink pair of sandals that I feel I would use more so I’m leaning that direction. However, I need to make more money and work harder so I have these purchases on pause until I reach a goal. I was close to purchasing black Prada sandals but then remembered about the limits and all this tariffs and I thought no. Then seeing those Gucci sandals, I was happy I didn’t purchase them because I would prefer the Gucci ones. I like nice things, it turns out.

I missed Christopher so much while I was away. He stayed with his parents with Hanky and they watched the Masters all weekend. He said they had fun but Hank kept waking up early in the morning and Chris would try to take him back to bed but Hanky wasn’t having it. I’m happy to be home. I cleaned the front closet a little which I wanted to do for a while. I want to get the deck together in a way where I can spend time out there. I need to train Hanky to not chew on the planter boxes and any other dirt on the deck. I want him to sit on a chair beside me. I moved my wine barrel table outside and I need a tall chair to go outside. I can probably just take our bar chairs out when I need to. That’s a better idea and saves space. I want to type more, here especially. I want to work on some posts, I want to exit topics from my brain. I was listening to a podcast where the host and the guest were talking about how the brain and memory works. That sometimes when a memory pops up out of nowhere from our past, once processed and recollected, it doesn’t store back into our memory bank at that deep level, it’s closer to us and more surface so easier to lose and drop off. I believe that’s true. I don’t want to lose these memories and something I’m thinking about writing, I’ve written before but lost those pages. I used to love writing. I wrote short stories, little horror stories, fiction stories, poetry. I used to research quotes online (took forever, this was the dial up era!) and write them in a book and draw pictures. I don’t have that book either. There’s items I’ve thrown away that I kind of regret. I wish I still had them. That’s the beauty of online, it’s there forever. That’s the scary part too. I want to do things that don’t involve watching television but like James Clear says, it’s hard to break and create new habits. We default to what’s easy and what we have already developed as a habit. I need things to change. I need to focus. I need to change my eating, my activity level, my activities, my information sources, my scrolling, my honestly in my relationship about things I want, my spending habits, listen to more music, work harder, make more calls, achieve the success I’m after and put myself out there in this new company. I know I can get there, I feel like maybe I’m not being honest with myself about the demotivation and affect the layoff had on my spirit. I could probably have at least double the money I have right now if I had the same work ethic that I used to. Chris is so supportive and he says I’m doing great but I know in my heart I can do better. I have 7 months left in the year, I’m going to set a goal, I’m going to hit that goal. I’m going to come back from this long weekend and start these changes. I’m going to rid of my anxiety. I’m going to stop holding myself back. I’m gong to stop worrying about what other people think. I’m here to take care of myself.